Chargers 2019 Draft: What not to look for

The Los Angeles Chargers have seven picks in the upcoming draft. Here’s some things the organization should not do.

I’m not going to prophecy which players the SoCal Chargers will draft in 2019, now that I can’t get intel from the NFL’s Eminent Eminem, Mike Mayock, because said draft Yoda is now working for Oakland Raiders’ owner, “Bowl Cut”. Who heads up the Raiders’ Three Stooges: Mark Davis is Larry, Jon Gruden is Curly, — who is Moe? Nathan Peterman? Antonio Brown is no help: his head is now too big to fit into a football helmet. We’re sorry to see gazelle Tyrell Williams cross over to the dark side.

Besides, fan draft projections are often too optimistic. But if you said last year the Los Angeles Chargers would get DROY runner up, the Black Panther Derwin James, everyone would have laughed and banished you to Fresno.

What not to do

Stay away from players touted foremost for having “high football IQ”, which too often translates to “Smart but Slow”. IE, their success in college might be due to playing on a great team or against a weak conference, which camouflage their physical shortcomings. Jahleel Addae was undrafted, but he was one of several Bolts who had blazing slowness.

UPDATE: On March 12, the Chargers sent Addae upstate, to a farm, where he can chase down parked cars to his heart’s content. I don’t fault Addae’s effort: he’s a smart, hardworking multi-millionaire, but in recent years his footspeed failed and his tackling looked like square dancing on fentanyl: “Swing yer partner and let him go, chase him to the end zone and dosey– Doh!”

Stay away from players with drug fails or rap sheets. Lepers rarely change their spots. (Yes, leopards, that’s what I said)

Don’t shortcut background checks. Do I have to say The Name That Must Not Be Named? Or can we Leaf well enough alone? However, I hear we can pick up Johnny Manziel for a six-pack and a bag of churros.

More from Bolt Beat

Don’t let a Spanos near the selections. Just look at the fruit from the era when a Spanos was director of player personnel, and general manager A.J. Smith had no achievements except to win the trust of the owners. This was evidenced by the Spanos brain trust firing a 14-2 coach, old Blood ‘n Guts Marty Schottenheimer, to side with Smith, whose ego drove many talents from the tent. (At least we’re not bitter…)

Let Chargers general manager Tom Telesco drive the bus, or fire him. T2 has proven his draft game, especially with Joey Bosa and Derwin James (although the jury is still out on offensive lineman Forrest Lamp).

Don’t draft small players like Elf on the Shelf Jason Verrett, who gets shelved every season. Diminutive Doug Flutie is the exception that proves the rule. And if you dismiss Doug, look at his numbers again: over 14 NFL seasons, a better winning record than many, if not most starting NFL quarterbacks. That pixie had pixie dust.

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