Predicting the most “Chargers” things to happen this season


If you’ve been a Chargers fan long enough, you know what I’m talking about.

Marlon McCree’s fumble. Ray Rice converting a fourth-and-29. Losing to the winless Browns.

Or, some positive moments: Throttling the reigning Super Bowl champion Seattle Seahawks in 2014 and making a comeback win against the Atlanta Falcons last year come to mind. Beating the Jaguars for the umpteenth time.

For those of you who are new, a “Chargers” moment can either be met with a Homer Simpson “D’oh!” or a Keanu Reeves “Whoa!”. They’re found throughout any season, some being a positive surprise and others a traumatic letdown. Every Chargers fan experiences these, and I applaud any fan out there still sticking with such a tumultuous team. They’re expected to happen in some way, with history showing patterns of both triumph and loss.

The 2017 season won’t be any different, and here are some very special “Chargers” moments that I predict will happen this season:

The Chargers will beat the New England Patriots in Foxborough.

Wishful thinking?

Philip Rivers has never beaten Tom Brady. No one beats the Patriots at home. They’re the defending Super Bowl champions.

They’re going to lose to the Chargers in Week 8.

I don’t care if Brady is one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time to everyone not named Tony Dungy. I don’t even care if the Chargers are 0-7 come October 29th. Somehow, some way, they’re going to pull it off. Maybe it’s a Joey Bosa coming out party. Maybe Rivers runs for a 50-yard game-winning touchdown. But despite having no shot of winning, the Bolts will pull it out in the end and give  Anthony Lynn the biggest win of his coaching tenure.

The Chargers will let Ryan Mathews score the game-winning touchdown in Week 4.

This is about as “Chargers” as it gets.

Not only do they give up the game-winning touchdown in their trademark fashion, but they give it up to a former Chargers first-round draft pick. Now, this is assuming Ryan Mathews is still with the Philadelphia Eagles come Week 4 or hasn’t broken a bone for the twentieth time.

My precedent for the prediction: Mike Tolbert rushing for two touchdowns against the Bolts, his former team, in a 31-7 blowout that eliminated Rivers and company from playoff contention. Hopefully, Mathews doesn’t get the chance, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he did either.

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The Chargers lose Mike Williams before the season even starts.

I retract my earlier statement, and place it here: this would be about as “Chargers” as it gets.

If you’re Adam Schefter, then Williams needs season-ending back surgery. If you’re Ian Rapoport, there’s optimism. If you’re a Chargers fan, you know we’re screwed.

It wouldn’t be the biggest blow to the team, as we (currently) have Keenan Allen, Tyrell Williams, Travis Benjamin and Dontrelle Inman to fall back on. But it would represent the recent trend of yearly misfortune that has befallen the Chargers. I hope and pray this isn’t the case, but after being a fan of the team for so long, I can’t expect this to end well.

The Chargers beat the Jaguars…again.

2013: Win, 24-6

2014: Win, 33-14

2015: Win, 31-25

2016: Win, 38-14

You get the idea. Beating the Jaguars is as much in Rivers’ guaranteed future as death, taxes, and child births. The Chargers do it every year, and they won’t skip a beat this season.

Well, those are some of the most “Chargers” moments I predict for the 2017 season. They can beat the Patriots and blow a lead to Ryan Mathews  all in the same year. If history is any indication, then Los Angeles is in for quite a roller-coaster first season with this team.

What are the first “Chargers” moments that come to your mind? And what surprise, if any, do you expect the Bolts to encounter this season?