Charger vs Raiders ~ I Know Their Plan
By Mike Murray
There have been a few changes going on up in Oakland. On September 30th they promoted a guy to be their head coach. I was not sure I knew who the guy was, so I looked him up on Wikipedia. After examining his illustrious career I can see why they gave him the interim label.
In related news, the league gave the Raiders last week off for obvious reasons.
In related news the league gave the Raiders last week off, for obvious reasons.
But before we go throwing too much hate towards our neighbors to the north, maybe we ought to give the guy a chance. He could be the guy to turn this thing around. Plus, these are the Raiders. I mean their name and logo speak of subterfuge and well woven plots to rob their neighbors of their women, children and wealth. This could all be part of some devious plan.
Now before you go worrying too much I also have a secret – I know their plan. I found it carefully hidden on the internet. Well, I may be exaggerating a little, it may not have been carefully hidden – it may have been on every major website that covers the NFL. You see, it appears that our pirate friends to the north are not the smartest pirates on the planet. I mean, who videotapes their secret plan and invites the press to watch their secret plan meeting? Talk about thick.
Anyway, I could see that someone had dubbed over the sound in an attempt to hide what truly went on at that meeting. But do not fear, because with my well honed lip reading skills and the help of an ex-CIA computer expert, Tazzster has been able to reconstruct the whole conversation and I have included it below.
This is what Tony Sparano really said…
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“You see what I have in my hand? Do you see this SOB! Its a freaking football. This little freaking ball has caused us a lot of problems over the last four games. But I am here to change that. I have a plan to change our fortunes and its a freaking brilliant plan.
Listen up. We are going to bury this little bastard in the freaking ground. And once its in the freaking ground it ain’t gonna cause us any more freaking problems.
No ball. That’s our plan! We are not going to play with that freaking ball that has been causing us some many freaking problems. YOU HEAR ME! WE ARE NOT GOING TO PLAY WITH THAT FREAKING MISERABLE BALL!”
“Man, shoveling sucks. Why don’t you fellas help an old man out here?”
Good luck fellas. See you Sunday and … we will bring the ball.