Before this tirade is launched, The Greg One will preface it by saying the San Diego Chargers are and always will be my team. By the time this read is over some may think otherwise but that is not the case. The Chargers are only second to family in The Greg One’s world and for all their faults, they are the team I believe in more than any other. Ever. Its with that same love that fuels this rant. To quote Vince Lombardi:
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?!?!?
First, there was the Monday Night Meltdown. The Chargers went into halftime up 24-0 over Denver and returned as the Raiders, giving up 35 unanswered points and taking the loss in front of the world in prime time. The Chargers rolled the Broncos in the first half. Ryan Mathews ran well. Philip threw well. The screens were working and the defense was getting in the Broncos backfield constantly, shutting down their running game while doing so. In the second half, they did the opposite. The defense didn’t get near Manning. They abandoned the running game when they should have been using their multiple backs to milk the clock and keep Manning off the field. After the Broncos figured out they had to double team Antonio Gates because Champ Bailey couldn’t cover him alone, the Chargers passing game melted and a slew of short possessions and turnovers resulted. One of the (theoretically) best offensive minds in the game should have been able to figure out how to protect a 24-POINT LEAD!!
To add insult to injury, Chargers Public Relations department has the nerve to tell us all to take a CHILL PILL! Seriously?!? First of all, someone needs to get out of the Hot Tub Time Machine before they attempt to do damage control because chill pill has been out of circulation since about 1989. Secondly, if it looks like we’re overreacting it isn’t. We saw what the team saw heading into this game. The Chargers were in prime position, at home, to take a two game lead in the division against the only team of any other relevance, Denver. Thirty minutes into the game, that was thirty minutes from becoming a reality. The Chargers would have a stranglehold on the AFC West right now if they didn’t turn in one of the all time clunker second halves in Monday Night Football history. Apathy does not cut it here. Acting like its no big deal will not work. That game was a BIG DEAL and the Chargers blew a GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY and to a man, they all know it. So Chargers PR guy, you can take your chill pills and whatever else you’re smoking and stuff it! If you’re not some lame pencil pushing executive who just wants the job regardless of what team it is and you’re an actual fan who loves the Chargers as much as the rest of us you too, sir, would have been deeply offended at the brand of football that was played in the second half! Time to own that debacle and BOLT THE F%#^&K UP like the rest of us!!!
Finally, word has come down on an investigation of the Chargers for cheating by using Stickum. Not steroids. Not HGH. Not TRT. Not the Cream or the Clear. Stickum. You want to know what stickum feels like? Pour maple syrup on your hands. There you go. Oh my God we don’t even CHEAT well! Stickum won’t help reach a ball that has sailed over your head. Stickum does not make you bigger, stronger or faster. It might help your grip on the ball. Might.Teams and players cheat to give themselves a greater chance of winning. Players roid up to help them run, faster, hit harder, recover from injury faster and get paid more money because that extra something helped their physical ability. Teams cheat to help their bottom line. Get to the playoffs. Bring in playoff revenue. Get more people to buy Personal Seat Licenses. DAMMIT if you’re going to CHEAT, do it on an epic level. Do it to give your team a greater chance of WINNING. New Orleans had a bounty program in place for years to get opposing team’s star players knocked out of the game. No star player, much greater chance of winning. Makes sense. New England videotaped practices of multiple opponents before they finally got caught. Know what the other team is running, their formations, their personnel groups…MUCH greater chance of winning. That is cheating on an EPIC level. The Chargers may get sanctions from the league for using…STICKUM. That’s like going to prison for jaywalking. Dudes are in for murder and armed robbery and you’re there for not using the crosswalk. You’re going to get laughed at then Big Bubba is gonna make you his girlfriend. Charlie Brown said it best:
I can’t stand it. I just CAN’T. STAND. IT.
This team was once the Lamborghini of the NFL during the Schottenheimer era. Hot, fast, a lean, mean, 35 point per game juggernaut that won the west on a yearly basis and made the playoffs on a yearly basis. The first couple years after Norv Turner took over, our Lamborghini was downgraded to a Benz. Still sleek, stylish and the sexy pick of all the talking heads who wanted to stand out by picking them to win before everyone else. The last three years our Benz has become a station wagon. Sometimes hard to watch, hard to get behind for all but the most practical. The window of excitement gets lower and lower each year because we know at some point it will break down.
This week will be THE turning point in the season for better or for worse. The Chargers will either rally around each other and finish with a strong November and December as evidenced by Philip Rivers ridiculous win-loss record in winter, win the west and be the only AFC West entrant in the playoffs OR they will continue to unravel, finish 3-7 and the housecleaning will continue, starting with AJ Smith and Turner. The players were fired last season. Only ones left to go is the brass. There will be no 5-5 finish. Epic win or epic fail. At this point, The Greg One is not sure which would be better for the Chargers but like the rest of you (hopefully) I will be cheering them on to whatever end. The Greg One will personally be in attendance at the Kansas City Thursday night game and hope to see you all there screaming your guts out. Why? They may be a station wagon right now but dammit they’re OUR station wagon.