Schedule’s out, here are your Raiders cliff notes

With the release of the NFL schedule yesterday, Chargers players and fans circle two dates; Thurs. Nov 10 at home and Jan.1 on the road. Those dates are the games the Bolts will face the Raiders and right the egregious wrong of a Raider sweep last season. In the first (but definitely not last) Raiders beatdown of the upcoming season, here is your all-purpose guide to all necessary points of contention regarding this rivalry. Ahhhh, how do we hate the Raiders, let me count the ways…

1. Al Davis. First of all, its hard to believe this man got his start with the LA/San Diego Chargers from 1960-1962. He plucked the idea of a deep ball, vertical offense and claimed it as his own after taking over in Oakland even though it was the brainchild of Chargers then head coach Sid Gilman. Davis went from American Football League commissioner to head coach/owner of the Raiders after the AFL/NFL merger. Right out of the chute Davis was stealing from the Chargers!

2. The Raiders teams. When the Raiders were actually good from 1967-1985 they were the epitome of a dirty team. Listen to the NFL films recordings from guys like Howie Long, Ronnie Lott and Bill Romanowski. The Raiders tried to win through intimidation, late hits and flat out cheating. The owners  ‘Just win baby’ was the motto and the Raiders did all they could to live it at all costs. It was a Raider that broke Joe Namath’s jaw. It was the Raiders that defeated the Chargers thanks to the infamous ‘Holy Roller’ play where the Raiders fumbled the ball ahead on purpose in order to score the deciding touchdown. It was Raider Jack Tatum that permanently paralyzed Patriots wide receiver Darryl Stingley with a brutal hit in a 1978 preseason game. There’s dirty, then there are the Raiders.

3. Raider Nation. A by-product of their sadist team and their evil owner, Raiders fans get out on furlough long enough to go to the game then back to their cell block afterwards. No other fan base is so reviled and known for their propensity for violence than Raiders fans. Countless stories of gang beatings of fans of opposing teams can be found everywhere. They come dressed in black, in shoulder spikes, donning silver and black face paint and Darth Vader masks. No matter how terrible the Raiders are, Raider fan will speak through their delusion as if their team had just won the Super Bowl.

As a public service Charger fans, here is the point/counterpoint for that inevitable conversation with Raider fan.

*The Raiders are 37-91 since their last Super Bowl appearance in 2002-03 season.

*Until their sweep last season, the Raiders had lost 13 straight to the Chargers.

At this point Raider fan will automatically go back to Super Bowls. The correct response is the last Super Bowl the Raiders were in they lost by 27 points (48-21) to Tampa Bay and the last Super Bowl the Raiders WON was in 1983. Add in a ‘Were you even born yet?’ to drive the point home if it is a younger person on the other end of this conversation. (Most likely it will be.)

*Al Davis is going senile and you need to look no further than his first round draft picks since the year 2000.

2000-Sebastian Janikowski. What other GM is dumb enough to draft a KICKER in the first round? You don’t even do that in FANTASY football!

2001-Defensive Back Derrick Gibson. Five years and out of football.

2002-Running Back Napoleon Harris. Traded in 2005. Returned in 2009, cut five days later. Defensive back Phillip Buchanon was traded in 2005.

2003-Defensive End Tyler Brayton. Ran for the hills in 2007. Defensive Back Nnamdi Asomugha. Best pick this decade who has become elite cover corner. However, Davis left a clause in his contract that made his deal void if he didn’t meet certain incentives. The contract language also prohibits the Raiders from using the franchise tag. BAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA

2004-Offensive tackle Robert Gallery. Dud.

2005-Defensive Back Fabian Washington. Traded in 2008.

2006-Safety Michael Huff. Mediocre at best.

2007-Jamarcus Russell. Biggest first round bust ever. Thanks for taking that designation from Ryan Leaf and putting it where it belongs, in the Raider organization.

2008-Running Back Darren McFadden. May be a decent back if he can ever stay on the field long enough.

2009-Wide receiver Darius Heyward Bey. Had more games played (11)than catches made (9) his rookie season.

2010-Linebacker Rolando McClain. Half a sack, one pick, 85 tackles in 2010.

Now we arrive at the glory days of this storied rivalry (for us), as Al Davis grows more senile and passes his crazy down to his team. There is the Asomugha contract snafu. In 2009, Davis gave Janikowski 9 million dollars guaranteed as part of a 4-year, 16 million dollar deal. There is drafting Heyward-Bey based on a blazing 40 time alone and bypassing Michael Crabtree, Jeremy Maclin, Percy Harvin, Hakeem Nicks and Kenny Britt. All the others have gone on to become solid NFL receivers. In the 2001 offseason Davis became and remains the only GM to trade his head coach to another team when he sent Jon Gruden to Tampa Bay and replaced him with Bill Callahan. Callahan got the Raiders to the Super Bowl the next season (with Gruden’s players) and in an awesome twist of irony faced Gruden and Tampa Bay. We know what happened next. Lest we forget Jamarcus Russell. Davis refused to admit defeat for three years and kept rolling Russell out there. The Raiders went 13-34 during the Russell years. Recently Russell was in the news for an arrest for the possession of ‘purple drank’ aka codeine syrup without a prescription. Even more recently, Russell’s life coach quit on him. Not only is Russell such a D-list celeb that he can’t score good drugs, the person he pays (presumably) to turn his life around could find no hope. Nice! Al Davis, great judge of character. Gotta love it.

Its 9:25 a.m. on a thursday and the Raiders are still our bitches! Commitment to Excellence?  More like commitment to excrement!

Topics: Oakland Raiders

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  • Bill

    Wow. Channeling your inner Schottenheimer?

    Face it, the Chargers will always be second class citizens compared to the Raiders. Doesn’t matter if you go on another 13 game winning streak against us, you still haven’t one the big one yet, even with possibly the most talented roster in the league for the past five years. What you have in player talent you lack in coaching, which is why your current coach couldn’t hack it with the Raiders. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a nice guy, but he is regularly outcoached, especially come playoff time.

    You say that Davis stole the Gillman offense, which just isn’t true. Our team just did it better than yours, just as other teams have improved upon the West Coast offense over the years. That’s part of the reason why we have three Lombardi trophies to your zero.

    As far as the “cheating” goes, the Raiders played by the rules. Rules were changed because of the Raiders, and plays like the Holy Roller aren’t possible today because of that, but your anger toward the Raiders for that is misdirected. If you try to tell me that the Raiders were the only team using Stickum, you’re nuts. The Broncos (salary cap) and Patriots (video taping opposing teams sideline) spring to mind as cheaters much more quickly than any past Raider hijinx.

    Chargers fans favorite NFL player of all time will be JaMarcus Russell because he has unseated your Ryan Leaf as biggest bust in draft history. What is that? Something like saying “Haha, our worst decision ever is slightly less humiliating than your worst decision ever! Go Bolts!”
    Yeah, I guess you got us there…

    Things are looking up for the Raiders right now, whereas your team’s window of relevance is closing. Trust me, we can’t wait until Nov. 10 and Jan. 1 either.

    • http://boltbeat.com Ernie Padaon

      window of relevance closing?

      how is it that things are looking up for the Raiders when you all decided to FIRE a head coach that was pointing you in the right direction? you will now be losing the best cover corner in the league.

      but, i guess that is looking up for the Raiders.

  • Dick Cavity

    Screw you and the nut-less, bolt-less, gut-less Charge-less.
    GO RAIDERS!

    • http://www.twitter.com/kencaminiti21 Phil

      Dude, you’re name is “Dick Cavity”? That’s kind of gross and sounds like a personal problem. You need go see a doctor about that.

      • http://www.twitter.com/kencaminiti21 Phil

        What kind of doctor do you see for a dick cavity?

  • Dick Cavity

    Oh, I forgot one: The RING-less dis-Charged.

    Coming this fall (hopefully) :

    The Chargeless with Norv Turner and Phillip Rivers present the 51st installment of:

    The Lords of the Ringless

    With the Dolt fans everywhere looking at a Super Bowl ring and championship screaming in agony: “My precious!!!”

  • thegregone

    Didn’t I call it? Two Raider fans in, straight to the Super Bowl defense. Its not ancient history class its ‘what have you done lately?’ Since 2003 the Chargers have owned the AFC West and the Raiders have finished dead last or next to last. The Raiders got their two wins last season because of an awful Chargers special teams. Good for them but expect a return to the beatdowns you received for seven straight seasons. Just keep this in mind: The Raiders went 8-8 last season and considered it a successful season. The Raiders have sucked for so long they’re celebrating mediocrity! The Chargers went 9-7 and considered the season an utter failure. THAT’S the difference between the Chargers and the Raiders and THAT’S the reason the Chargers will start a new win streak by going 2-0 this season.

    Don’t worry about the rings Raiders fans, you won’t get a sniff of a ring during the Rivers era!

  • charged up

    you did call your shot!!

    I hate the Raiders!! We are going to sweep the series this coming season

  • bolt backer

    I hate everything about the Raiders… especially those stupid fans and their crazy outfits!

  • bolt licker

    This from a team with 2 gay disco songs for their theme.

    One for them and the other for LT. Who by the way got closer to sniffing a ring his first year away from your sorry franchise.

    Thanks for the hate losers.

  • chargerfanpaul

    Okay first off Mr. Raiders fan, before you get the nerve to make claims and remarks on another teams blog site I would make sure next time that you are making the right claim. Look up “stickum” online and what the rule was in place for and there is one name that comes up. LESTER HAYES. I mean, I wouldn’t expect a Raider fan to know his team history, but at least you could glance at it online before you make a fool of yourself.
    2nd of all,the only thing looking up for the Raiders right now is Louis Murphy’s pocket rocket. I sure hope he’s having fun with those special pills of his. I cannot wait to watch the next crushing of the Raiders this season as we sweep them and watch all the darth vader and wanna-be hardcore spike wearing fans walk away in shame once again. There’s a good reason Oakland fans are pissed off all of the time. THEY SUCK! You guys can live in the past all you want because those dusty old rings will sure look good in the cellar of the AFC West every season.
    Go Bolts!

    • bolt licker

      Oooooh! You told me a thing or two! Yeah, I know nothing about anything because I’m a criminal Raiders fan. Right? Screw you douchbag.

      • chargedup85

        Wow I’m beyond impressed with the level of intelligence spewing from the mouths of our raider friends. I love the name by the way “bolt licker” one can only assume where your mouth is and shall remain for years to come, Raiders BLOW and you continue to prove our points thank you.

  • bolt licker

    Chargers
    Have
    Another
    Really
    Goofy
    Excrement
    Raiders
    Story

    Failures
    And
    Never
    Super,

    And
    Rightfully
    Envious

    Rivera’s
    Exit
    Triggers
    Almighty
    Raiders
    Dominant
    Superiority

    • Bolt backer

      Raiders
      Are
      Illegitimate
      D!cks,
      Eat
      Rat
      Sh…

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