Seven steps to recovery for long suffering Chargers fans

In the wake of another lost season there is going to be a lot of anger fueled columns and all-seeing ‘experts’ speculating on all the Chargers issues. Is The Greg One angry? Hell yeah! However, this is not going to be one of those columns. The saying goes, ‘To whom much is given, much is expected.’ Norv Turner was given a lot and the system has failed from the top down. We all expected a lot and now we sit, collectively disappointed, to put it very kindly. Still, the team has trended this way for the last two seasons. Like fans of every team in every city, we believe this year will be different. Let’s face it, we’re addicts. All of us. Addicts. We can get through this abomination of a season together. There’s seven steps on the road to recovery and if we all follow it, we’ll all feel better by kickoff on opening day 2013. I think it begins like this:

*AHEM* My name is The Greg One and I am a Chargerholic…

Step One: Shock and denial

“Ok, so the Broncos have won the AFC West but we can STILL win the wild card if we run the table and everyone in front of us LOSES! Besides, we are still in the picture MATHEMATICALLY! Its not over..The Giants got in as a wild card last season and they won the Super Bowl!”

Step Two: Pain and Guilt

“It’s my fault. I wore my powder blue Rivers jersey the first two games and they won. When I switched to the Tomlinson jersey, they lost. I broke the cycle. I should have just worn the powder blue Rivers jersey every week and the team would be undefeated right now…” *sniff*…*blows nose…HARD*

Step Three: Anger and Bargaining

“FIRE NORV! FIRE AJ! FIRE EVERYBODY! (Except Rivers) FIRE ACEE! FIRE HEILBRUNN! FIRE THE FRONT OFFICE, THE BACK OFFICE, THE OVAL OFFICE, THE POST OFFICE…I TOLD YOU TO KEEP VINCENT JACKSON! FIRE SPANOS! CALL IN THE GOVERNMENT TO TAKE THE TEAM BY FORCE AND SELL THEM TO MARK CUBAN! AT LEAST HE’S WON A CHAMPIONSHIP AND WILL ACTUALLY SPEND MONEY!!! BLOW UP THE WHOLE DAMN TEAM (Except Rivers) AND GET SOME PLAYERS, MAN! I’M TIRED OF THIS MUTHA#$%&&*&^*&*ING, S%^#$^&*TY, SORRY EXCUSE FOR A #%^%&*$$ TEAM! DAMMIT!!!!”

“Um..I didn’t mean that. Lord, if you could get the Chargers into the playoffs, someway, somehow, I will neverneverneverneverneverNEVVVVEEERRRRR ask for a single thing again for the rest of my natural life. As long as it is my last wish ever, can you make sure we win the Super Bowl? Thank you. Amen.

Step Four: Depression (Reflection, Lonliness)

“We lost to the damn BROWNS! We’ve lost four games where we’ve had the lead in the fourth quarter. We should be 8-4, not 4-8! Washington and Indianapolis are going to make the playoffs and they’re starting ROOKIE QUARTERBACKS! At least their offensive lines are blocking for them. Would be nice to have that for Rivers. Can we trade for another team’s WHOLE offensive line? So many teams getting in that shouldn’t be getting in. Especially Denver. We’re more talented than they are. I think i’ll be better once the Ray Rice 4th and 29 dream stops playing in my head when I go to sleep. What do you mean that wasn’t a dream?”

Step Five: The Upward Turn

“A lot of changes are going to be made in the offseason. They turned over half the roster last season. They may turn over the other half this season (Except Rivers). No way the front office stays intact. We’re already at rock bottom, we did lose to the Browns and apparently give up a 4th and 29 that led to a loss. Nowhere to go but up!”

Step Six: Reconstruction and Working Through

“When is the draft? Free agency? There are always some good cap casualties!”

Step Seven: Acceptance and Hope

“We are not going to make the playoffs. The guys are going to have to find a way to band together and support each other, much like us fans. They have to play for pride and play like their jobs are on the line because it will be for a lot of them but I think they know that. They can still finish the season with some wins and get some continuity going if guys can stay on the field and off the injured list. There will be an overhaul of the system from the coaches to players to management and that alone gives me hope! BOLTUP!!!”

In the end Chargers fans WE are all in this together. We live together, we work together, we tailgate together. The San Diego Chargers are ours. For richer or poorer. In good times and bad. In the playoffs or not in the playoffs. Right now, we’re in one of those valleys looking up at the peaks which are obscured by clouds right now but tomorrow…Tommorrow the sun will shine through those clouds once again. And when that sun shines it will shine out all the clearer! A new day will dawn. New management and coaches are a CERTAINTY, and in this season of giving and thanks, as a sports nation we can’t be happier than in the knowing that our team has reached its lowest and WILL be better for it. Now that i’ve managed to wrap rehab, marriage and an excerpt from Sam’s closing speech from The Lord of The Rings into this close, my work here is done. I hope this helps knowing that pain you feel is not just you, it is in all of us who care to see the day our Chargers succeed on a grand scale. Now lets join hands…

Which stage of recovery are you on?