Aug 9, 2012; San Diego, CA, USA; A detailed view of a San Diego Chargers helmet at Qualcomm Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Jake Roth-US PRESSWIRE

BREAKING NEWS: The United States Is Now Completely Out Of Chill Pills!!

This just in! The United States of America has run completely out of chill pills.  The FDA has put out a statement saying that “they have no clue as to how such a thing could happen in such a short period of time.”

Despite the demand for this product, it has now become impossible to find them in the friendly confines of the US borders. 

Sources tell me that they were initially being manufactured in southern California but all plants and factories have been shut down in the last 16 hours.

There is a rumor that the pills are being duplicated and sold on the black market in areas such as Tijuana, Amsterdam, and provinces all over Canada.

The prices of these black market “chill pills” are sure to skyrocket due to a very low supply and an overwhelming demand.  If you come into contact with a “chill pill” dealer, I suggest you turn and run away because who knows what other illegal shenanigans these types of individuals are partaking in at this time.

I understand that there is a need for this pill but let’s be honest…… whatever it is you’re going through that has you believing you “need” it…….. WE’VE ALL BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE.

Fire Norv. Fire A.J.  There is no reason to calm down at this point.  The Chargers need changes.  The Fans deserve and need changes, not chill pills.  And they need them now. 

Feel free to vent at the bottom of this article in the comments section.


Thanks a lot for reading.







Note:  Most of this information is fictional and has nothing to do with the FDA, Tijuana, Amsterdam, Canada, etc.  But the statement I’m making is fact.




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Tags: Chill Pills Rumors

  • Vardog

    Damn, I better hit the Canadian market!

  • Pete Spinning

    I have mine stashed for the day Norv gets fired. I’ll need to calm down from the overwhelmingly emotional breakdown I will have from TOTAL Joy!(I might blow a gasket)
    I’m only taking half of my stash, though… I am selling the other half to Raider & Chiefs fans for double the price.

  • chargerrocket

    Yikes! My chill pills says Made in China! No wonder they were so cheap.

  • Bolt Z

    I will get high on chill pills once Norv is fired

  • RussinSactown

    My chill pill is called tequila and I’m running out.

    • ChargerGirl Cindi

      Oh no!

  • arnie

    My sources say, they have a lot at chargers park. this makes sense, does anybody seem to worried at charger HQ?

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  • ChargerGirl Cindi

    I’m hoarding them.

  • Doc Widger

    I’m chill. Denver is killing it. bahahahaha!