This just in! The United States of America has run completely out of chill pills. The FDA has put out a statement saying that “they have no clue as to how such a thing could happen in such a short period of time.”
Despite the demand for this product, it has now become impossible to find them in the friendly confines of the US borders.
Sources tell me that they were initially being manufactured in southern California but all plants and factories have been shut down in the last 16 hours.
There is a rumor that the pills are being duplicated and sold on the black market in areas such as Tijuana, Amsterdam, and provinces all over Canada.
The prices of these black market “chill pills” are sure to skyrocket due to a very low supply and an overwhelming demand. If you come into contact with a “chill pill” dealer, I suggest you turn and run away because who knows what other illegal shenanigans these types of individuals are partaking in at this time.
I understand that there is a need for this pill but let’s be honest…… whatever it is you’re going through that has you believing you “need” it…….. WE’VE ALL BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE.
Fire Norv. Fire A.J. There is no reason to calm down at this point. The Chargers need changes. The Fans deserve and need changes, not chill pills. And they need them now.
Feel free to vent at the bottom of this article in the comments section.
Thanks a lot for reading.
Note: Most of this information is fictional and has nothing to do with the FDA, Tijuana, Amsterdam, Canada, etc. But the statement I’m making is fact.